Virginia Breeze

I was having a conversation with my next door neighbor Mimi the other morning. Everyone calls her Wait A Mimi and she is a sweet girl. She attends Freeman High School and likes to write long papers in this big round walrus font that she found somewhere.

She showed one of them to me and it was pretty impressive.

“Mr. T why do we all act like there is an afterlife? Maybe there isn’t one. We could just be wasting time thinking about it”.

Don’t you like to waste time Mimi? I thought all high school kids liked to idle their lives away.

“No way. . we don’t have time! I’ve had every minute of my life planned out since I took dance lessons in preschool. I had to reschedule my mime exercises just so i could be out here enjoying a little unprocessed air and probing you brain”

You are probing things Mimi? Have you started your premed courses already? Why don’t you take a course in fashion design and invent some examination gowns in cheerful colors like red or mint green? Give them Velcro ties that come all the way around to the front so you can close up the backs when you are waiting for the inevitable.

“Hey that’s an idea Mr. T. I think I will write a paper and present it in my Entrepreneur 412 class next week. But why won’t you answer my question? It’s not like I have eternity to wait for an answer.”

I’m sorry Mimi. You think that there’s no life after death? No God? No angels and Uncle Harry waiting for you after you leave this strange and sometimes frightening place a long time from now. And I’m the one who is supposed to talk you out of this notion? Why?

“Because nobody else likes to discuss this kind of thing anymore. Everybody is too busy talking about things that don’t matter like some old woman stealing that Yankee baseball player from his wife”.

Alex Rodriguez? Noooo. He and Madonna are just friends. She’s been teaching him the Kabbalah so someday he will actually be able to play really well in games that mean something. And the team will play well too.

In some ways he’s like the albatross in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. Remember when you read it to me long ago? Fans and sometimes even his teammates take shots at him. They “shoot him down” and then they pay for it. The wind stops blowing out at Yankee Stadium when Uncle Al’s in town.

“Whatever. People pray to their crackberries. They don’t have time for all of this spiritual stuff. It’s all superstition to them.”

Well here’s the deal Mimi Princess. People usually are focused on one of two things. . . the art of survival or the art of having fun. Unfortunately they don’t have time for the art of the spiritual afterlife . But there is something else that works even better.

“What’s that? I need to go work on my schedule for next week. Can we cut to the magic Mr Wizard?”

Sure. It’s called the School of Crash and Burn. And it’s what happens to you when you wake up one day and discover the path you have taken for years and years ends at the edge of a very deep crevasse. And you must either jump or sit down and starve. And then you relax and jump.

Not everyone gets into this school by the way. It’s difficult to gain admission. You must show great potential. Maybe Alex needs to apply. It certainly sounds like he is heading in the general direction.

Ewww. That doesn’t sound very promising. I hope I don’t have that kind of potential.

Of course you do! You have all kinds of potential. But I don’t know where your path leads. I’m just saying that if it leads over a cliff don’t despair. Just be your sincere self and ask for help. When your troubles begin  to clear out of the way you will be amazed to see what is waiting for you.

“Speaking of paths Mr. T my dad says that when your grass gets really high you need a path to find your way to the door.”

Your father is a very wise man Ms. Mimi. Please give him my regards.

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