Virginia Breeze

I was having trouble discovering a topic to write about today. I was even considering writing about Sparky and Malarky my two German Shepherds who guard the house while we are gone. They are downstairs at the moment imagining how great the trash man would taste and discussing who will get the more tender parts.

But that’s not going to happen. He’s a good guy. Still I don’t want to tell the dogs it won’t happen . In the first place they would be upset with me. And in the second place they might try to eat me. And I am not safely on the other side of the door like our neighborhood trash guy.

I left him a trash can full of woodworking trash today. Lots of little 2 X 4’s that add up to about half a ton. He’s probably not too happy about that right about now. He has to pay a whole lot more money for gas just to get here and then I am weighing down his truck with all this wood.

I’m a bad customer.

But on the other hand I could share some good news with him. This will make him happy enough to forget about a bunch of 2 X 4’s.

Oil slipped off a record high above $143 a barrel today as US crude rose 11 cents to 140.59 a barrel. I know that seems like not so good news. You have to dig deeper to find the pony as President Reagan used to like to say. Because the US Energy Information Administration revised down US April oil demand by 863,000 barrels per day. That’s nearly 4 percent below demand last year in April.

“This revision of the US oil demand for April has certainly put pressure on crude futures. This is demand destruction before our very eyes” said Phil Flynn of Alaron Trading. “This is a huge revision and it happened when fuel prices were still lower, so you can expect that there could be more future downgrades in demand data.

On the other hand we have the weak dollar and escalating tensions between Iran and Israel over Teheran’s nuclear program.

Those two are gonna have a showdown at some point. But what I interpret this guy saying is that there is probably a huge glut of oil out here and the traders have gone too far. Prices are going to start down in the very near future.

And we can all take our cars out on the road again! Who has cut back on their driving?

Just about everybody. We all make those little decisions that cut our fuel costs by five, ten or twenty percent. And it adds up! So I need to run down the street and catch my trash man before he turns the corner. And tell him the good news.

Maybe Sparky and Malarky would like to come? Would you guys? Great! Come on then. Let’s get some exercise and run down there to see the trash man!

Danica Patric/ Historic IndyCar Winner

This is the number one story right now on Yahoo Buzz. A woman won the big race.

I don’t really have a lot to say about it other than “Great”. I don’t follow racing except when I am out on Interstate 95.

But having watched women drive I have been saying for awhile now that all they needed was the right car and a matching set of tires (along with a few other color coordinated accessories) and they could win any race they entered.  Am I serious?  No!  Of course not!

Jake Long signs with Dolphins/ Top pick in the NFL draft

And to guarantee that he will be there the first day of training camp they guaranteed he will get thirty million dollars. Can you spell DESPERATE? You can bet his body will be there on the first day but what about his mind?

He knows he has thirty million dollars. He has climbed to the top of the NCAA heap only to find himself on the worst team in the NFL. What does that do to a young person’s mind?

The Redskins went down this road a few years ago. I forget the guy’s name. They gave him millions. And he said “Thank you” and proceeded to get beat every time he took the field.

He never played. Welcome to the NFL.

Miley Cyrus signs a seven figure book deal.

Congratulations Miley. The book will focus on her life growing up in Tennessee. And it will cover how her family and especially mother Leticia kept her grounded.

WAP! Do them dishes girl!

No. That’s not right. I must be thinking of somebody else. I saw Miley for the first time when she was on stage with Billy Crystal at the American Idol telethon a few weeks back. She sings really well but my memory of her has been totally overshadowed by Fergie who came out later in leather pants and did a couple of cartwheels while she was doing a dynamite rendition of Barracuda with Heart.

I don’t think I am ever going to forget that

“American Idol” Season 7 Mixtape

The next Buzz moment seems to be an attempt to make fun of Chikezie’s rendition of “She’s a Woman“. This happened back when they were doing Beatles tunes and the rest of us were trying to figure out when Spring was going to arrive. I am sure we wondered about Chikezie too but maybe not as much as this post suggests.

Still it is all in fun and there is even a YouTube video of Chik doing his thing before he headed back to LAX and the intimacies of airport security. See it here if you must.

And finally we have politics in the news. Senator Barak Obama slammed the retired peanut farmer Jimmy Carter for going to Israel and talking with Hamas.

But I have some questions. When Carter goes to talk with these guys how does he know where to find them? Aren’t they supposed to be hiding? And putting that aside can’t the Israeli’s follow his movements and discover where their enemies are hiding and kill them?

What about all the Secret Service guys who protect the former peanut farmer? What happens if hundreds of Hamas guys show up with guns and decide to kidnap the former peanut farmer?

And am I still going to be able to get Jiff Crunchy Style Peanut Butter if something happens to the former peanut farmer during one of these jaunts beyond the outskirts of civllization? Because I really don’t like the smooth kind and Skippy Peanut Butter gives me a rash.

I have lots of questions as you can see. But we have run out of time. Our discussion of the top ten Buzz subjects will continue later at NewsLink Briefs.

That’s my humor blog for those of you who may not know it.

So in fact that’s for everybody.

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