Virginia Is For Families

The Tudors on Showtime continues to provide rare Sunday evening enjoyment for those of us who have pretty much left the 2oth century medium of television to stew in its own reruns. Time has moved on a bit and Henry’s daughter, Elizabeth, future queen of England, looks to be around six years old.

Henry loves her very much but still would chop off his left arm for a son. Sorry. But chopping is such an integral part of this series. I am really hoping Ron Popeil will be making a guest appearance before it is over. I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when his wife  climbs those stairs and then look down into the hole on the eighteenth green for the last time.

Oh sorry once again. I am thinking about the upcoming British Open. This hole is large enough for a noggin and the director of this series thought it a nice touch to put a camera down below it so we can have a face to face with the soon to be departed.

But we have a ways to go before Ann lays out her lovely neck for the last time. She is ecstatic at the moment because she is pregnant and feels sure she will give Henry his son thus establishing her own position.

But Henry is a complicated guy and he doesn’t seem to be so happy. For one thing he misses Sir Thomas. And he blames Ann  for “making him” execute his friend and mentor. And then he gets a letter from his first wife who dies from lack of attention or something.

There is a strange and unbelievable scene where he sits on the floor reading this letter and holding his knees. Then he falls over and starts to cry. What’s that all about? Artistic license? Let’s not go overboard with all this sensitive king stuff.

Henry is quick to anger but he forgives his few friends after awhile because he is so isolated in his role of king and head of the new church. He would like to be sitting around with Sir Thomas and laughing about it all.

“Seriously, Sir Thomas. Do you really think you will burn eternally in flames if you whisper in my ear that I am who I think I am? You can be telling yourself I am a philandering miscreant at the same time as long as I can’t hear you. Isn’t it what’s in your heart that is important Sir Thomas. Hahahaha. Here! Have another drink. Don’t you feel even a little twinge when you see one of those beautiful young women we have around here? Hahahha.”

Henry kicks himself for depriving himself of all these wonderful moments. He feels so bad about it he sometimes sees Sir Thomas hiding behind the curtains in his room at night. He has nightmares too. And they all seem to center around his habit of beheading those who disagree with him.

He’s a gentle person at heart. Ann is the cruel one. It’s all her fault. She is an ambitious b**ch and quite shallow too.

You can tell this is the case because she is so happy at the moment. She has even stopped running her hand around her neck. And there is one more scene I must share with you. Ann and some of her friends are having a dance in a small tavern or room with a romantic fire in one corner. It is very dark. She runs into the arms of someone who picks her up and twirls her about the room just as Henry walks through the door.

Talk about your awkward moment. You can hear a pin or a pinhead drop as he walks around having a look at his “competition”. Then he grabs Ann and they start this long, passionate, angry and overly choreographed dance that ends up with a shot of them in bed.

Ann sinks one of her royal fingernails about a half inch into Henry’s back and then lets it wander down to his butt in an attempt I suppose to see if he really does have a spine. She must not have found it because then she smacks him in the face a couple of times!

Talk about pressing your luck. Henry started doing a slow burn a long time ago where Ann is concerned. He is isolated in the geopolitical sense and in the sense that he executed his best bud! How much more of this can he take?

A lot is riding on whatever is baking in the royal oven. If this does not turn out well we may see Henry’s fingernails revealed. They are very long and sharp. And they are attached to ten foot long poles in the possession of some very scary and masked avengers.

So tune in and see what happens next. And don’t forget to grab a feed so that we can discuss the finer details here when it is over.

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Here are some photos from the Showtime series

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