Virginia Is For Families

At the top of the list of things I enjoy this time of year

is the fact that the sheets on my bed are cold when I jump between them. They warm up after a few minutes but for those first few seconds I am in paradise just feeling the coolness all around my decrepit old body. I wish someone would invent sheets that stayed this way all night. They would be so cool.

Another thing that is especially good this time of year is hot chocolate.

It really tastes better for some reason. They were selling hot chocolate the other day when I was at the park . I went up to the counter and asked them if they had a flashlight I could borrow because I dropped my little remote clicker in some leaves. I never did find it and it’s still out there waiting for me to come back in the daytime and rescue it.

These people were not helpful.

I had the impression they thought I wanted to steal their flashlight. And while I was up there a guy came up with his two kids and they all wanted hot chocolate. These hot chocolate salesmen told this guy that the hot chocolate was nine dollars per cup! He almost fell over! So he only bought two hot chocolates and it still cost him almost twenty bucks.

Merry Christmas. HO-HO-HO.

Overpriced hot chocolate and Santas that are getting fired for saying HO etc. Why would you not want Santa to say HO? Everybody knows that he is just saying HELLO and leaving out the ELL. Why does he do it? Clearly he doesn’t want to be saying HELL in front of the little children. And why say HELL-O when you can say HO and and sound like a jolly guy? Now if he was saying HELL-O HO I could see that maybe someone has a point. But that isn’t what is happening. So what’s the big deal?
Does anybody think that any rational person is going to walk by Santa…

and think he is calling her a HO? Now who in their right mind is going to think that Santa would do such a thing? Here he is standing up all day in an ugly red suit and ringing that damn bell until he’s ready to throw it through a store window. And he does this just to give me an opportunity to reach deep into my pocket and pull out a quarter to toss in the can.

Poor Santa. I hope he gets through this without losing his cool. And BTW. Where is Santa Clause Right Now? He needs to be making preparations for the sleigh riding and chimney jumping he is going to be doing very soon. He doesn’t have time for all these distractions. And besides that the phrase “Where is Santa Claus right now?” is a keyword full of all kinds of goodies in his sleigh and a KEI of 690 with Google. So can you blame me for asking that question??? In fact It’s my Christmas Present to you fellow bloggers. All you have to do is figure out how to CREATE a post that uses it. That shouldn’t be too difficult…….