Virginia Is For Families

I have been encouraged lately to write something about myself and my wife Beth. Beth is somewhat paranoid about being written about so I don’t do it often. But I would love to do it more so let’s try and see what happens. If you don’t hear from me again you will know what went down. This is a happy story and we can use one of those right now. This happened right before the end of the last millennium. And the end of the millennium was almost the end of me. I was out of gas and finally leaving the security of the VA and my government job. I had been dating for awhile but was tired of that whole scene. Then one night I was reading a column by Dave Barry and it was making me laugh. He was talking about lawn mowers. So I decided to write a letter including much of his column and ideas without acknowledging whose wit and wisdom belonged in each sentence. Then I decided to copy/paste this letter into “AOL In Love” messages for about fifty women. Maybe it was one hundred women. I don’t really remember but it was a lot. I was very tired of writing each woman an email at this point and decided to automate the process.

Well. It worked. Beth knows this story because I confessed some time ago. I’m not very good at being dishonest for very long and hardly ever tell a lie. But I can copy/paste like a madman when the situation calls for it. I don’t do it anymore without attribution however. And I don’t do it in order to write to women. Obviously.

Beth had a list as well of about ten guys who she was going to put through some kind of wringer. It involved emailing for six months and then phone calls for a year and then a visit in a public place once a month after that. Somehow I managed to convince her to condense all that stuff into a shorter period of time and we met in the flower department of our local supermarket.

Can you identify the most wonderful moment of your life? I can and I get to walk right over where it happened every time I go out for Snickers Ice Cream Bars. Because that is where I first saw the loveliest and most gentle and wonderful woman that God has ever placed on this blue and green earth. And it happened exactly seven years ago this next weekend. She was standing next to the flower case and I was sitting in a green plastic chair next to the automatic door. I saw a pretty blonde woman who was about five feet three inches tall. She was slim and dressed casually in white pants and a blouse that had beautiful blue flowers all over it. She was standing there quietly looking at me and I could see she was trying to decide whether she should run for it.

Fortunately she stood her ground and I walked up to her and said something about how glad I was to have found the right flower case. But I was also trying to stay calm and avoid being an idiot. I knew my copy/paste talents were not going to help me in this situation. So we went out to lunch and had a nice time. I was drinking Long Island Iced Tea at that time and smoking. Still she didn’t run away. And when we walked back to the parking lot after lunch we found that we had parked our cars facing each other grill to grill. It was a very large parking lot and we had arrived at different times. So when I saw this I knew it was a sign from Heaven and was ready to move on to dating the very next night.

But I had already moved Beth out of her comfort zone. So we emailed and telephoned for awhile. I wrote a post about this process called Harry Potter and Me if you are interested.

http://davidnotes.com/2007/08/01/harry-potter-and-me/

Harry Potter is an important part of this tale actually. Because Beth loves Harry. And so I love Harry. While we were talking or emailing she mentioned that she loved the adventures of Harry Potter. And so Harry became one of my favorite characters right next to Dave Barry.

I know I sound a bit shabby and desperate but you have to understand I was at the end of my tether. I was hanging from a cliff and I could see mice above eating away at the slender strand. And suddenly here was this wonderful, patient and kind individual who was also beautiful. What would you do?

I thought so. So when she found out I loved Harry the next thing I knew we were having a candlelit dinner at her house. She made it all and it was delicious. Afterwards I knew that I had died and gone to heaven. I just knew it. I went outside to have a cigarette and look for the clouds that supported her house and yard. I waited for harps to play. But they did not play. Yet.

Because when I went back inside there was another suprise waiting. There was lovely Beth sitting on the living room couch with a copy of Harry Potter’s latest epic. She smiled at me and I thought to myself ” This is where my beautiful dream ends. She is going to quiz me about events in this book and I have not a clue. ”

I was already thinking about the quart size bottle of Long Island Iced Tea and a pack of cigarettes. Actually I was thinking about worse things then that. But then she did something that made me love her. And she does this quite often actually so I continually find myself loving her more. She asked me to sit next to her so we could read together because she felt I could benefit from reading this book. Again.

She looked right in my eyes when she said this and I knew that there were two open books in the room. But she didn’t have to ask twice. And after awhile the harps began to play. Softly at first but then with incredible joy and tenderness.

I gave up smoking and drinking a short while after this. My life took a turn in another direction and I became a student of Beth. I would watch her to see what she was thinking and feeling. I would look at her to soak in her beauty. And I would wonder when it was going to end.

But it never has ended and I am happy to say I don’t think it ever will. Hopefully until the day one of us dies. And on that day ( if it isn’t me) I have only one thing to say.

My Love

I remember when you said you wanted us to be “friends”

And I said, “I am blessed. You want to be my friend?”

So you decided we could be more than friends.

And I don’t understand how there could ever be a time

When I cannot find you. When you are gone.

It would take the breathe from my body

And I would search for you…

Everywhere

This post is dedicated to lovely Beverly who encouraged me to do something like it.