Dr. Davidlind Speaks Out/ They Are Driving Me Mad
Table of contents for 7/Writing
- I’m Up To One Of The Top Four Hundred K Blogs Now
- Where’s The Comment?
- Dr. Davidlind Speaks Out/ They Are Driving Me Mad
- Rocking Ruminations
- Random Ruminations
Today was hot and humid. Central Virginia can get like that. And it was like that today. There was just a little breeze that kept us all from seriously considering jumping off a bridge into the James River. I have a journey that takes me over one of those bridges and usually it is not too much of a problem. But on days like today I become aggravated with a certain kind of driver and hope he drives into the James River when we get to the bottom of the hill. Here is what happens. We start out with two lanes. And then as we go down the hill and get near the bridge two lanes becomes one lane. Because it is an old bridge and not very wide. It is called the Huguenot Bridge after all the Huguenots who came here to avoid their crazy French neighbors.
Basically you have two kinds of people in the world. You have your patient kind of person who will stay in the left land all the way down the hill and over the bridge. No problem. And then you have your other kind of person who is not so patient. This person will be in your rear view mirror. Then he will be passing you on the right. And then he will be trying to cut in front of you before you get to the bridge and his lane ends. This will save him approximately half a second in time over the length of his journey and provide the raw material for high blood pressure at best and a trip to the bottom of the river at worst.
Of course our little bridge is not the only place this sort of thing happens. It happens all over the place. Anytime you have a highway where the number of lanes decreases you will find your two kinds of drivers. There will be those who wait patiently in line. And then there will be those who see what’s happening and decide to go to the front of the line and cut into it. Sometimes I see so many folks doing this I believe our line, the patient people line, is going to slow to a stop and we are all going to have to put it into reverse and start going backwards.
Beth is a very patient person and doesn’t mind waiting while we are passed by all these guys who will eventually cut in front of us. I would be patient if I thought we were all going to wait together. And I see other guys who used to be patient but “lost it” as they watched this parade of advantage seekers and finally joined them. They become the thing they hate !! And sometimes it happens on their vacations!!
I see the looks on their faces as they realize what they have become. They’re tormented. It’s easy to tell who got sucked into this pact with the devil. It’s the guys with the blank stares who clearly could care less. They will also come up behind you so close you would swear they are in the back seat of your car. It’s almost a relief when they pass you on the right. You thought you were being carjacked! But be careful. You don’t want to meet them on the other end of your car. Just let them go.
I used to be slightly upset whenever these sorts of things happened. Now I don’t even see it most of the time. I pretend I am on a back road in Kansas. Nobody is around. It’s just me and the trees. And Dorothy. And Toto. We are all together and Dorothy has on the ruby slippers. Nothing else matters. If a tree falls in the forest and blocks our path Dorothy just clicks her heels and we fly over the problem.
Then I put one of Andrea Bocelli’s CD’s on the stereo and forget about the world. This is why I bought an expensive stereo. It might as well be there for me when I need it. Right? Soon Jordin will have her CD where I can grab it and then there won’t be a crazy person on the road who will phase me. Cut me off. Cut back in front of me. Slam on your brakes for good measure. It won’t matter. I will smile. Jordin will sing. Andrea will sing. Maybe I will join in and sing with them. The four of us will go down the road together. Toto will bark and we will all laugh.
Then we will pull up at the local hospital where I will be met by two guys in white jackets. With any luck I will have a roommate who likes to tool down the hall in a wheelchair and cut me off while I’m trying to walk off my restless legs.
Maybe I will just wait for a cold front to move in before venturing out again.
http://davidnotes.com/2007/08/29/who-owns-the-moon/
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